For Pain, For Pleasure
by whitemokona234
Summary: I don't know if the title matches the story, but whatever. I remembered in my South Park Hard Yaoi story that someone suggested I should write a solitary Dip story, so here it is! I hope it doesn't suck, and if it does, not too bad...


I don't know why, but I felt like I should try something that isn't _all the way _explanatory. Y'know, see if I can write some poetry or whatever. I think _One Morning _was something like this… but, then, that's not poetry. Hm… I don't know, call it what you want, just review, okay? Thank you so much.

Disclaimer: I own South Park in no way at all, neither do I own any of its' characters. They both belong to Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Enjoy!

I can't help but wonder why I'm laying under him again. It feels good- _oh so good_- to let him do what he wants, but at the same time, it hurts. It burns through my skin, through my _soul,_ with every touch he gives me and leaves invisible burns marks in it's wake. We've been doing this for a long time. Next Thursday will mark the 3rd year that we started this dance of pleasure and unintentional pain.

It didn't start out this way. At first, it was gentle kisses and sleeping in the same bed together, something I never thought Damien was capable of. Although, you never really know anything about anyone until you actually try to get to know them. I could never stop thinking about him. His dark, ominous form and that wicked smile of his was burned into my mind and still is to this very day. It was about 6 months after we had started doing this, Damien came up and spoke to me.

"_Can we?"_

"_I-I don't know, Damien…"_

"_I promise, I won't hurt you. I would never hurt you, Pip."_

"_Damien…"_

"_Look, I promise, if I hurt you more than necessary, I'll stop, okay?"_

_I look into the crimson orbs to see if there's anything, any deception, any doubt, any… _anything_ that would possibly tell me that he's lying to me. And I can't find anything. Hesitantly, I nod and he tells me to meet him at his house later. I have this rising suspicion from the pit of my stomach that I'm in for something disastrous. _

_I go through the rest of the school day, waiting, watching, expecting. What, I can't remember, but I have feeling that I thought he'd just forget all about waiting and jump me in class. Finally, the bell signaling the end of the day rang, and all the teens of South Park High ran out the building as fast as they could. All, except me._

_I lingered in the classroom a bit, the nervousness I'd been feeling all day boiling up inside me and making me nauseous. Did I even want to go anymore? What if I just couldn't find it and Damien was lying to me? What if it hurts really bad? What if Damien's really just trying to kill me and drag me to Hell with him?_

…_What if I'm no good?_

_All these questions swirled around and around in my head, until finally I just pushed it all aside. Damien loves me, there's no way he'd hurt me on purpose. Besides, I trust him… don't I?_

_With that final thought, I left the school building, a full half hour after the final bell had rang. I walked down to the Anti-Christ's house and go up to his door. Before I even have a chance to knock, he opens it and pulls me into a tight embrace._

"_Where were you?"_

"_I-I stayed back for a-a while. A-after school…"_

"_I thought something had happened to you…"_

"_I'm fine, Damien…" I lean up and plant a gentle kiss on his jaw and he smiles._

"_Are you ready?"_

"… _U-uh-huh… I-I'm ready…"_

"_I'll try my best to make it as painless as possible…"_

"_Okay, Damien… I trust you…"_

_Once again, Damien smiles. He leans down and places a soft kiss on my neck. My brow furrows slightly. Did that just… burn? I quickly push it aside, for the slight burning feeling is quickly replaced with the feeling of Damien's lips ghosting over my neck and trailing lower. His name passes over my lips quietly as his latch onto my neck and his hands begin to unbutton my red jacket. My hat has fallen off from my leaning my head back so far and my face is burning with the massive blush that's spread like wildfire over it._

_He picks me up and carries me bridal style all the way to his bedroom. He lays me down on the bed slowly, and it makes my heart swell knowing he's being this gentle for me. We kiss again, and once again I can feel this burning sensation from where his lips have touched me. I don't know what's going on, but I keep quiet about it, thinking that maybe it's just my imagination._

_Damien has gotten off my jacket and my shirt and we both kicked off our shoes and socks a long time ago*. That sinful tongue of his is making saliva trails down my chest and is swirling around my nipples, which are oh-so sensitive and making me cry out. I realize how much he's doing and try to do something too, but he smacks my hand away._

"_Let me do everything, okay?"_

"_B-but-"_

"_Shh…" He hushes me with another kiss, which leaves such a burning feeling that it feels like my lips have touched fire. As my mind tries to process what happened, he's unbuttoning my pants and slowly sliding them off my hips. When I come back to reality, I moan at the feeling of cold air blowing around me._

"_D-Damien~…"_

"_Shh…" He pushes my legs up to my chest, which makes me glad that I took gymnastics in middle school. After removing his shirt, he takes a bottle of lotion out of the drawer and squeezes some onto his fingers. Looking up at my face, he pushes one in._

"_D-Damien!"_

"_Did I hurt you?"_

"_I-it… w-weird…!"_

_Damien smiles at me, with just a bit of pity in it. "It'll be like that for a while." he says. Shortly after, I can feel him moving it slowly. When I feel my legs spread a bit wider, he pushes in another finger. I groan in discomfort and he leans down to place a kiss against my temple._

_He moves them around and in and out until his fingers brush against something inside me and I moan out his name. I see him smirk before my eyes close in ecstasy as his fingers rub into that spot._

"_H-harder…!"_

_I hadn't even known my voice could sound so foreign. In fact, I hadn't even known I had said it until I felt Damien's fingers pound into me, into the spot, and it makes me cry out louder. He adds a third finger and I can't help but scream as loud as I can at how _good _it felt._

_I groan in dissatisfaction when the fingers leave me. I open my eyes with a bit of difficulty to see him putting some lotion on his member. When did he take off the rest of his clothes…? I can't even remember the next thing I was starting to think, for I felt him rub against me and I whimpered._

"_Damien…"_

"_Are you sure? We can stop. I can wait."_

"_Damien… pl-please… p-push it in…!"_

_The next thing I know, my whole body feels like it's on fire. He pushes in, all the way to the hilt, and everything, from my fingertips to my toes, feels like it's been set aflame. I can't hide my pain, for tears slide out the corners of my eyes._

"_I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…" Damien mumbles to me as he places kisses on my face. His kisses are like little sprits of gasoline that add to the wildfire on my skin._

_And yet, even though it feels like I'll die at any second, it feels _so good_. The fire seems to burn in all the right places, and when it's bearable enough, I reach out and wrap my arms around his neck._

"_Damien… move…"_

_I get an immediate reaction, and he wraps his arms around my body as he gently thrusts in and out of me. The room is silent, except for my moans, his grunts, and the gentle shaking of the bed. I ask for it harder, and he lays me back down so he can do it properly. The fire burns even brighter, and I moan at how good it felt. Yet, there are still tears falling, and Damien is still kissing them away, mumbling his apologies._

_We both reach our climaxes, his after mine, and as I lay entangled in his body, I notice that his body feels as hot as mine. We share a final, weary conversation before we fall asleep._

"_I'm sorry…"_

"_For what?"_

"_For hurting you…"_

"_How did you hurt me?"_

"… _I burned you…"_

It took me a long time to figure out what he meant. In fact, it took me a year in total to truly understand the meaning of that statement. Being the spawn of Satan means certain things are meant to burn. In his times of extreme intimacy, his very touch can make you feel like you're getting 3rd degree burns, and yet leave behind no mark. You'll feel it for days, weeks, months, possibly years, and you'll see no scar in it's wake.

I don't mind, though. Because I love Damien. And I know he'd never hurt me on purpose. That's the last thing I think before we kiss and fall asleep.

_**END**_

A/N: So, what'd you think? Honestly, I got this idea from the song _Love the Way You Lie _by Eminem and Rihanna because, think about it. If there were ever a relationship that involved lying and burning and crying and loving all of that, it would definitely be with Anti-Christ Damien and I'll-Forgive-You-All-The-Time Pip.

*- I noticed that sometimes, when people write smut and stuff, they forget to mention the whole 'took off shoes and socks' thing. I mean, that sounds kind of porn-ish, to have sex with your shoes on. I'm just saying…

R&R, cuz it supplies burn cream for Pippers!


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